Flashing Before My Eyes: IV: The Desert
by ChibiUlquiorra
Summary: The start of a new series I hope will continue. One-Shot. Ulquiorra's POV. As he fades away from the reality he's always known, what is Ulquiorra thinking? Why is he the way he is? And what are his last memories?


A/N: I'm taking a break from humor to bring you guys this story. I wrote it at school, for better or worse…

Flashing Before My Eyes…

As I fade fom existance, an incomplete monster, I remember all of the things I had done in this life, if you can call it that. I remember when I had first become a Vasto Lorde, I simply stood on the sands of Hueco Mundo, taking it all in. An eternally visible desert, existing from the beginning of time. The wind ruffled my hair gently, silently. The ivory moon, the only source of light, was the only object in the pure dark sky, like a sentinel, watching over prisoners throughout its infinite night. I took a handful of sand, and counted every grain that slipped through my fingers. I compared it to the number of my bretheren I killed to get to where I was, to achieve this vast power. And for what ends?

_Simply to survive, from fear of losing who I am._

Being so absorbed in my thoughts, I didn't notice an adjuchas attempting to sneak up on me until after he lunged. He bit into my shoulder, but I made quick work of him. The blood from my shoulder trailed down and colored in the ivory sands surrounding me, the same deep crimson hue. But I didn't care anymore. I flew up into the sky, wanting to escape it all. All of the violence, all of the fear, all of the insanity, everything. I flew onto the surface of the ivory moon, and sat on top of it. I looked down on Hueco Mundo. I saw only the Desert. Vast, endless white sands, unchanged by either time or life. All of the barren trees, having never born fruit, lifeless, blending in with the expansive surroundings of the ivory sand. And yet… it was alive. It was a regal, eternal being, majestic, beautiful even. I was envious of it. I wanted to be the desert. I wanted to know why I felt that it was alive.

Then, I simply killed off all emotions inside me.

_I became the Desert_.

That was when I found Aizen. I joined him, and became even more like the Desert I so admired. I stole life from those whom "God" deemed unworthy to live, without judgement or pity, nor hate from myself.

And because of that, I met Inoue Orihime. I realize so many things about her now that I am fading. She was fierce-willed, beautiful, resiliant. She was the same Desert I admired. The beauty of its ivory sands, its resiliance to changes forced upon it, fierce enough to dominate those who would keep her. But, because of my emptiness, I had never noticed these traits before… yet… they are all beautiful, nonetheless.

_I was the dark, hideous side of the Desert which I had so embraced, yet that woman, she was something new, a new Desert, in and of herself_.

Then I remembered it. When I had been serving Aizen, I did patrols to go out onto the Desert. I often wished to simply revel in the Desert's beauty. But one day, I had become lost within the endless sands, and I saw a trace of color in the far distance. I approached it curiously. When I was close enough to see it, I was awestruck. Auburn, desert wildflowers. Blooming within the sands of Hueco Mundo. They were enticing, seductive, majestic, magical even. I dared not touch it for fear it would wither away. I wanted to record that image countless times to be able to see it over and over again. I never wanted to forget this moment.

And now, while I fade from existance, my "life" flashing before my eyes, I can finally understand. I shall not ever undestand a human's heart. I lost that insight long ago, when I gave myself to the Desert. But now, I understand my final feelings. I did once admire the ivory sands of the Desert. But now I realize, they are lackluster and plain compared to the auburn desert wildflowers I had fallen head over heels for. They were a beautiful change, extraodinary, magical.

_My love for this Desert as a whole now disappears as I finally fade, but is replaced with a new love. And with the small touch of her hand as I finally disappear, I am content with this life, no matter how wretched it was._


End file.
